Travis and I are going through the Empowered to Connect Train the Trainer course with the goal of hosting classes for families that are going through the process of adoption or becoming foster parents.  The classes are designed to prepare families for some of the unique challenges of parenting children from hard places when traditional parenting skills fail or aren’t as effective.

Our challenge this week was to take one day and say “Yes” to our children.

I’ve determined that is the hardest word to say.  I realized that I end up saying no frequently throughout the day and often when I don’t need to.  The response from the kids of getting told yes when they usually hear no was disbelief.  Jazz actually questioned if I was really saying yes or if she misheard me.

My concern for this day was that my day would get so side tracked with all the yes that I would be stressed about the things that I needed to do that didn’t get done.  Well, it didn’t.  There wasn’t anything unreasonable and I was able to connect with each child personally in a way that they needed.

Saying yes is a challenge that I would issue to every parent.  When your child asks you for something or to do something and the first word you want to say is no, to stop and ask yourself why and if you have to say no.  Then, if it is possible, to say yes and see what changes happen in your relationship with your child.



About Cassie

Wife, Mother, Homemaker, Registered Nurse. A note to the world sharing our adventures and growth as a Christian Family.
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3 Responses to Yes

  1. andi jones says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this insightful piece. This should also apply to other vectors of life where one is in a position of supervision. We all get into habits of some automatic reactions. I know that I will be thinking of this at school this week.
    I would dearly love to share this with my others on FB if it was ok to do so. I believe it would be of help to many.
    Also, so wonderful that you are involved in doing what you can to assist others achieve their goals in what can be a difficult situation. I have a family member that didn’t have the support needed to deal with the child/children from those hard places and difficult situations. Though they went through classes and trainings, there were a good handful of parenting/fostering expectations and matching up for good fits that sadly, just weren’t there.
    I applaud those that take the time to do so for the benefit of all. You guys are wonderful.
    (miss you – loved the photo card – beautiful family)

  2. Cassie says:

    That is true, Andi. People get into patterns of saying ‘No’ or saying ‘Yes’. Either pattern can lead to missed opportunities, or in the case of saying yes habitually, overwhelmed. You are welcome to share anything that I write. =)

    That is something Travis and I are hoping to address, not only before a foster/adopt situation but also after. We are facilitating a support group meeting in our area because there wasn’t one and what we’ve found is that even if we, or others, aren’t able to offer practical solutions, just knowing that there are other people experiencing the same thing you are and validating your experience and feelings is powerful.

    We think of you often. =)


    • andi jones says:

      Sounds as if you have settled in out there and are happy. As always, you find positive paths through things and are there for others. You are all missed and thought of often. Hard to believe how much time has passed and how your littles have grown.

      You are much in my mind this evening. Funny that you are out there due to Amazon and that Amazon may be coming here. It was announced that one of the proposed Amazon sites is the White Flint Mall property. Lord & Taylor is the only store left as it was owned separately from the rest. Would be good for us, so hope it works out.
      I don’t have a good email address for you/Travis anymore – glitchy PC lost some.
      Love to all.

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